Hi Gang,
Okay, next paragraph, same thing. Paragraph on another character. Here’s an example…
SECOND CHARACTER PARAGRAPH:
[Born the bastard son of an earl, Pearce de Godfrey despises noblewomen. Was it not one who lied to him of her love, then robbed him of his child? Pearce saves the life of England’s prince, and the king awards him a bride with a rich dowry. Now he’ll have the means satisfy two of his goals: wealth and position. With his newfound resources he can scour the land for his child, if one exists. But, alas, he’s fallen in love with a peasant maid whom he’s vowed to keep from harm. Now he’s forced to make an agonizing decision. Should he wed for love—or the means needed to claim his kin? Imagine his anger when he finds a hated noblewoman is the peasant who won his heart.]
Now, you can have a short “wrap up” on the plot, if your two paragraphs didn’t outline it well enough. As long as you’ve stated the character’s goals, etc., and some of the plot, you can move on to the bio paragraph.
BIO PARAGRAPH:
[I’ve recently sold two articles to A Greater Freedom, an inspirational military publication, another to Club Romance e-zine, and numerous greeting card captions (yeah, I know—but everyone tells me they count). I have a Web site at: www.kellymortimer.com, where I’ve listed my endorsements. I’m a Romance Writers of America PRO member, and I attend meetings at my home chapter, Orange County, CA RWA. I also travel to RWA’s yearly National conferences in order to network and take advantage of the wonderful opportunities their variety of workshops provide.]
CLOSING PARAGRAPH:
NOTE: a SIMULTANEOUS submission means you’ve sent this work to other agents/editors. A MULTIPLE submission means you’ve submitted multiple projects TO THIS PERSON.
[This is a simultaneous submission. Thank you for taking your valuable time to consider my query. May I send you a partial of full manuscript, my synopsis, and marketing plan?]
Sincerely,
Kelly L. Mortimer
[no space] Contact info and Web site if not in header or footer as letterhead
Things to leave OFF your bio:
Non writing-related job experience
Individual names of more than 2 chapters
More than three contest finals or wins (if not already in first paragraph)
Opinions of your family and friends
Misc.
What Agents/Editors don’t like:
When you compare your work to others’ in this way…
“I’ve written the next Da Vinci Code,” or
“I’m the new Dan Brown the world is waiting for,” or
“I’m positive my manuscript will be a best-seller,” or
“You’d be foolish to pass on this manuscript.” [yes, I’m serious.]
[It’s fine to compare your manuscript to another author’s work when you’re saying:
“Think [insert author’s name]”
Please send your questions via “comments.”
Tell your loops and friends to join us. What would y’all like to learn next? I’m open to ideas!
Smiles,
K.