Top-10 Reasons I Loved 2009
Wednesday, January 20th, 2010Top 10 Reasons I Loved 2009
Well, 2009 is over. There is a God. [Although I wondered about that.] I’m so glad I’m shakin’ the dust of last year from my sandals, and marchin’ forward into 2010. I’m fired up! But first, I thought I’d try to find a few positive nuggets from what had to be one of my worst years in modern times. [Can’t count the way-back past. Can’t remember most of it, anyway.] Okay, I just lied. I really just wanted to take one more poke at last year, and then I’m forgettin’ it. [Hopefully, for life.] So, here are the Top-10 Reasons I Loved 2009….
#10 - I learned a new language: Latin.
Yep, I became quite familiar with the sentence, “Et tu, Brute?” [Caesar’s last words, meaning, “You too, Brutus?”]
#9 - Although I love game shows, I won’t be trying out for Survivor.
[Couldn’t make all those alliances, then turn around and do “the blindsides.”]
#8 - I implemented what I’d learned in my fave book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
A certain person in a certain organization shrieked at me over the phone. My hubby [he’s such a sweet man] was a witness. [I didn’t know a man’s eyebrows could stretch so high!] After this person called me unprofessional [as if!] and several other choice words, I remained so calm it was frightening. While I so wanted to point out that person needed a Xanax while I did not, I just said, “I appreciate your time. Thanks.” [MAJOR, dudes.]
#7 - I have a high tolerance for pain, [I’m married.], but I increased it.
I was so upset near the end of the year; I tore off all my fingernails. No, not just the white part, most of the pink part as well. [Saved money on nail polish too.]
#6 - I learned a new skill: how to be a contortionist.
[Had to pull an entire set of Ginsu knives outta my back.]
#5 - I bought a new wardrobe.
Due to stress and sleep-eating [that’s a blog in itself], I gained 20 pounds.
#4 - I learned God chooses clients and friends for me, better than I can.
[No further comment needed.]
#3 - I learned there is a sucker born every minute.
[In 2009, I was born 525,600 times.]
#2 - After a 2-year battle with the IRS, the Christian-hatin’ IRS dude actually showed up knockin’ at my front door…
…which I never answer without strappin’ on my sidearm. [Never seen a man in a cheap suit back up so fast!]
And the #1 reason I loved 2009…
I can get battered, beaten, and bloodied … and Get Off the Mat.
Boo-Yah! I’m comin’ up swingin’! In 2010: I’m. All. In.
To sum it up, I’ll use the words of one of my fave Christian bands: SuperChick…
Follow the leader, stay in the lines
What will people think of what you’ve done this time?
Go with the crowd, surely somebody knows
Why we’re all wearing the emperor’s clothes
Play it safe, play by the rules
Or don’t play at all - what if you lose?
That’s not the secret, but I know what is:
Everybody dies, but not everyone lives. Everybody dies, but not everyone lives
I’m gonna ride like I’ve got the cops on my tail
I’m gonna live my life like I’m out on bail
I’m gonna be out front, gonna blaze a trail
I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna cross that line
Everybody freeze - don’t step over the line
Don’t stand up, they’ll shoot down the first one who tries
Try to change the world, they’ll think you’re out of your mind
Revolutions start when someone crosses the line
They want us to lie down, give in to the lie
Nothing has to change, and no one has to die
That’s not the secret, but I know what is:
Everybody dies, but not everyone lives. Everybody dies, but not everyone lives
I’m gonna ride like I’ve got the cops on my tail
I’m gonna live my life like I’m out on bail
I’m gonna be out front, gonna blaze a trail
I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna cross that line
[Come with me. I dare ya….]