Query Letter Part 3
Hi Gang,
Okay, next paragraph, same thing. Paragraph on another character. Here’s an example…
SECOND CHARACTER PARAGRAPH:
[Born the bastard son of an earl, Pearce de Godfrey despises noblewomen. Was it not one who lied to him of her love, then robbed him of his child? Pearce saves the life of England’s prince, and the king awards him a bride with a rich dowry. Now he’ll have the means satisfy two of his goals: wealth and position. With his newfound resources he can scour the land for his child, if one exists. But, alas, he’s fallen in love with a peasant maid whom he’s vowed to keep from harm. Now he’s forced to make an agonizing decision. Should he wed for love—or the means needed to claim his kin? Imagine his anger when he finds a hated noblewoman is the peasant who won his heart.]
Now, you can have a short “wrap up” on the plot, if your two paragraphs didn’t outline it well enough. As long as you’ve stated the character’s goals, etc., and some of the plot, you can move on to the bio paragraph.
BIO PARAGRAPH:
[I’ve recently sold two articles to A Greater Freedom, an inspirational military publication, another to Club Romance e-zine, and numerous greeting card captions (yeah, I know—but everyone tells me they count). I have a Web site at: www.kellymortimer.com, where I’ve listed my endorsements. I’m a Romance Writers of America PRO member, and I attend meetings at my home chapter, Orange County, CA RWA. I also travel to RWA’s yearly National conferences in order to network and take advantage of the wonderful opportunities their variety of workshops provide.]
CLOSING PARAGRAPH:
NOTE: a SIMULTANEOUS submission means you’ve sent this work to other agents/editors. A MULTIPLE submission means you’ve submitted multiple projects TO THIS PERSON.
[This is a simultaneous submission. Thank you for taking your valuable time to consider my query. May I send you a partial of full manuscript, my synopsis, and marketing plan?]
Sincerely,
Kelly L. Mortimer
[no space] Contact info and Web site if not in header or footer as letterhead
Things to leave OFF your bio:
Non writing-related job experience
Individual names of more than 2 chapters
More than three contest finals or wins (if not already in first paragraph)
Opinions of your family and friends
Misc.
What Agents/Editors don’t like:
When you compare your work to others’ in this way…
“I’ve written the next Da Vinci Code,” or
“I’m the new Dan Brown the world is waiting for,” or
“I’m positive my manuscript will be a best-seller,” or
“You’d be foolish to pass on this manuscript.” [yes, I’m serious.]
[It’s fine to compare your manuscript to another author’s work when you’re saying:
“Think [insert author’s name]”
Please send your questions via “comments.”
Tell your loops and friends to join us. What would y’all like to learn next? I’m open to ideas!
Smiles,
K.
March 25th, 2008 at 02:07
I’ve been trying to post a comment for the last two posts, but somehow I’m getting a ‘failed’ response and something about hash-cash. No idea what I did or did not do, but I’m trying again.
Thanks for this informational help on query letters, Kelly. And, sorry for your hurt and upset over that know-nothing writer who took exception to your rejection letter. I saw nothing improper or unethical about a word you said.
Glad you’r over it, able to laugh about it, and get on with stuff. *smile*
Keep it up!
Peg
March 26th, 2008 at 20:56
Kelly, about the bio paragraph, I am very new to writing and haven’t entered a contest, submitted a project or in other words, no experience beyond a few on-line classes where I submitted a few short stories. What would I put in the bio section?
Thanks,
Walk
March 27th, 2008 at 18:22
Kelly,
I agree with Walk. My experience is unique. I’ve worked directly with a freelance writer/writing coach who’s published Non-Fiction works pretty succesfully. Working with her one-on-one has enabled me to leap years ahead of myself were I left to my own devices. Many pieces of advice given from seasoned writers/agents/editors on the ACFW loop echo lessons from my coach. The only down side (sometimes it’s an upside) is the fact that she doesn’t know two words worth of my genre. Until my stuff, I guess. Nonetheless, my early works/chapters with her teaching far surpasses what I’d written prior to working with her. The same can be said of now vs. when began this tutelage relationship.
Is this something to highlight in a query in lieu of no “published articles”? Or is it just a mentionable item?
Thanks for all this query help!
April 1st, 2008 at 20:12
Hey Walk and Wawindom,
Never bluff experience. If ya don’t have any, put whatever writing affiliations are applicable. Are you a member of ACFW or RWA? Have you finaled in any contests? Gone to any seminars? Conferences? You can say you took my Online writing course, or any other. Show that your head’s in the game, even if you haven’t broken thru yet.
Try to get a writing credit of some sort. Local paper, small niche magazine, or an e-zine. My first sale was 7 greeting card captions. Anything writing related helps. Also, higher education, even if not in the writing field, shows you can start and finish something, that you’re educated, and willing to learn!
K.
April 2nd, 2008 at 19:42
Kelly,
Sound advice. Thanks. I will work towards racking up some “measurables.”
Personal question: If you read a query (for which you had previously asked, not one of those forced on ya) that was simply rockin, yet the author admitted to having zero experience or credits, vs reading a query (again, for which you’d asked) that was more blasé, yet had decent credentials, what are the impacts? Say both were for the same genre, a genre for which you happen to be hunting.
Thanks again!
Will
April 17th, 2008 at 18:27
Hey Will,
Sorry for the long absense. Now that I’ve recovered from my nervous breakdown…
Your Question:
“If you read a query that was simply rockin, yet the author admitted to having zero experience or credits, vs reading a query that was more blasé, yet had decent credentials, what are the impacts?”
Good question! I’d ask both for a partial, and judge the writing. May the best writer win.
My current clients set the bar. I don’t sign anyone unless they write as well as the clients I currently have.
K.
May 15th, 2008 at 01:30
Kelly,
With regards to your final question. I’d be very interested in the varying opinions on synopsis lengths. It appears somewhat subjective across the industry, with some requests asking for a longer synopsis than others. I can imagine a few different reasons, but I’d like to hear yours.
Also consider a synopsis for a second or third book in a series. (Considering the industry desire for stand-alone books.) Would the synopsis in this case be longer, due to a little backstory of the original book?
Thanks,
Tom
May 15th, 2008 at 02:19
I like a 3-paged, double spaced for a single title, and a 2-page, double spaced for a series/category.
I wanna know the characters’ goals and motivations, conflict, and how everything’s reslved. I won’t want a condensed version of the book!
For a sequal, it should stand alone, so why bring in backstory unless it’s like a “lord of the Rings” kinda thing, where the 1st book ends in a cliffhanger.